Posterity Plea

Morning’s devotion on that faithful day was Unusual. As little as i was, I could notice that Papa said a prayer that was totally different from his custom Casual prayers which could of course be muttered in one breath “father we thank you for today, forgive us and butter our bread today in Jesus name”. This time, I could feel the heaviness in he’s heart as the words came out slowly_ ‘fa–th-er……..’ I could also remember that he didn’t finish the prayer before beckoning on us to leave the room. It was 5am, not like there were other rooms to go, so we had to settle for the corridor. I could hear dad soliloquizing, he’s voice was broken and i had to know what was going on so I tilted my 4-year old brother’s head a little to give him some comfort while I go check out on our Father. Mum had left us a year ago, still figuring out why because I had never heard an argument between my mum and dad ever since I was born So I guessed her decision to leave was my fault, maybe because I got her upset that day and or maybe she’ll forgive me and come back, well, just maybe. I tiptoed into the room where dad was and saw him with so many drugs, He didn’t see me, i didnt want to intrude so I went back to be with my little brother still wondering if my dad was sick and why he had such drug quantity with him.
Not sure if I had any sleep that day, but when I finally opened my eyes at dawn, the voices I heard threw me off balance. Couldn’t find my brother then I decided to look for him first before finding out the reason for the commotion in my compound. ‘Enobong‘_I heard that name and immediately recognized the legendary husky voice, It was definitely my grandma, but what was she doing here? She only visits at Christmas or could it be Christmas already? The tears from her eyes was enough to refill Lake Chad. “Granny Nsídò” which interprets in the Nigerian Efik language as “what’s happening?”. I could see that words became so difficult for her to form, finally she said ‘Etém…fò’ which also interprets in Efik as “Your father”. At that instant, I craved so badly to see my dad. She alongside other women tried holding me back, only God knew who they were and why they were all crying like they were in a weeping competition. They overpowered me, well, so much for being a 10-year old. However, i was able to see some men carrying something that looked like a sleeping human covered in white. Just like magic the weeping from every angle increased and at that moment the heavy tud in my chest confirmed that I had lost something really dear forever.
The reality of Mom abandoning us and Dad committing suicide the following year wasn’t an easy cross to bear as it greatly affected my self esteem which is a pivotal stage in life’s processes. Grandma couldn’t bear the burden of two children alone so she sent me off to stay with my Uncle in Lagos at 18. Uncle Etim managed a hotel and was indeed a blessing to my life, He enrolled me in a catering school and when I was done, he established me as the chief caterer of the hotel.

Success stories are easier to tell, when you’ve equally passed through an amount of pain. I am Enobong, and I’d like everyone to know that the effect of Parental separation causes a huge toll in a child’s heart. It raises questions like “was it my fault dad or mom left? Was my birth a reason for their separation? Why was I born if I would end up being abandoned? I understand that extreme circumstances may arise for instance, when the marriage becomes overbearing and leaving remains the only option. I therefore indulge you to never abandon your children because am certain that it’s not possible to completely forget them. There are scenarios where the separated parent finally realizes his/her mistake and try to make amends. But to be honest, no matter the tears, apologize and try to be better parents or these children will always have that spot in their hearts where they still feel you never needed them ab-intio. Also, try to make out time for your children even if you eventually get married and have other children in the process. No matter how difficult it gets because I’m aware that some times your new spouse might object the idea, make him/her understand that this child/children are products of your blood too. Create a schedule where you could meet weekly or even monthly. Make them realise you love them no matter what and Trust me, at the end of it all you will be grateful that you did. Thank you for reading this article brought to you by the mahdheebah blog (TMB) and like we always say “Live☺ Love❤ Laugh😁”

Eseohe for TMB

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The Encounter 

   Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough, not perfect enough, you don’t fit in, you have a horrible past? Well hey, You’re not alone. You’re far from being alone!!

      I had a friend one time, who was as “in the world” as could be, I mean she was so addicted to drugs and alcohol and everything wrong. All through our college years she was always in detention and facing expulsion for being caught with some sort of narcotics or some act of indecency. I was opportuned to bump into this girl a while back and she was changed, and I mean she was a deep devoted Christian, so I asked her what happened, why the sudden interest in religion, you knew about God all this while but never followed him, why now? Her reply was remarkable.

   She said, I had what you call “an encounter”, it was very brief and in that encounter “something said to me” it’s time!! She went on to narrate to me that she really didn’t understand the encounter but this wasn’t your average “I was dreaming and something said” story you hear all the time, this was real, I was conscious of it, it wasn’t supernatural, it was very natural and I knew it was a divine utterance. 

   But how would you know a divine utterance if you never really knew God I asked, and she told me “i knew about God, everyone does but they’re often too depressed, too sunk in and too uninterested to believe in him, but when it’s your time believe me it’s your time.

  You see, God has a plan for everyone of us, we are not just existing in an eternal bliss of nothingness, living by chance, we are all characters in a play God is orchestrating, we all play significant roles.

   Now i want you to imaging a scenerio, if you were a hard core, big time Alcoholic and people are trying to get you to stop drinking and mr A comes and gives you reasons why you shouldn’t drink, how its bad for your health and what it might result you to doing (but bare in mind that Mr A has never really been a drinker before, so he has no idea what it feels like to combat the addiction). Then Mr B comes along and gives you the same advice but is also able to relate he’s own personal experience to you and also give you pointers to how he combated his own addiction. Tell me, who are you prone to listen to more? Yes! Mr B, because he knows exactly how you really feel, he’s been in those shoes before so he trully understands and won’t judge you.

  God puts us through certain situations, experiences and battles because he has a bigger plan for us, he wants us to use our scars to draw people out of their battles. Nothing happens by chance, don’t look back at your past and ask God why? Look up to him and ask what next? There is a plan for everybody, God has a plan for all of us and its to take us to Great heights, don’t believe me? Let’s scoot over to Jeremiah 29:11 it says “for I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and hope”. God doesnt lie, he’s infinite, he knows all things, that past of yours making you feel bad about yourself is exactly what you need to get to the next phase in life, you should wear it like a crown, you are perfectly imperfect.

  We all know Nick Vujicic (hope I spelt that correctly), the man who has absolutely no limbs! Notice how some of you didn’t recognise who Nick was until I said he’s the man with no limbs? well now he’s one of the most accomplished writers of all time and amongst the top inspirational speakers this generation has ever seen, I read in one of he’s books where he said “as a child growing up, I hated my life, I hated myself and I felt death might be preferable, he was tagged an alien in school and barely had any friends, life was tough he stated. But now he’s story has turned around, and he can’t but imagine how he’s life would’ve unfolded if he had complete body parts “I’ll probably have a regular life” and you won’t be reading my books because I’m  just another regular person. P.s he’s wife just had a set of beautiful, perfectly normal girls.

       My ideal is this, different people require different mediums for conviction, certain people only take advise from people who have been through their ordeal before, So if that’s the case that simply means “I have my own audience and you have yours ….right? 

I play basketball alot, I really love basketball and I’ve been telling whoever cares to listen that if the person who converted me to a believer was a basketball player or my coach, i would have listened more because they are like me. And all the coach has to say is Desmond!! If you don’t give your life to Christ you’ll be sitting on the bench all season and I’ll be like SIR YES SIR!! God here is my life, its all yours. 

     What I’m trying to say is, don’t be sad when you think about what you’ve been through, have no regrets because everything was allowed by God, so long as you believe in him he’ll surely heal you, he cannot loose and therefore you can’t either and never forget three important facts in life; you are a crucial piece in God’s giant puzzle, Earth is not your final Destination (heaven is) and you are not defined by your mistakes. 

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  God loves you and so do I ☺