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Men Unalike

God doesn’t call the perfect, he perfects the called!!!

   I feel obligated  to say something about this topic and set it straight, it’s really sad when I see or hear people, young girls especially talking about how all men are the same, though nobody ever said it to me. I’m usually not one to judge anybody for any reason whatsoever but I observed the sort of girls who say that are those who are quick to jump into any kind of relationship that throws itself their way, without any evaluation, or assessment, thinking  is this the right person for me?, is this who God has ordained for me.

   It’s really unjust and erroneously judgmental to call all men equal or the same because God made everybody uniquely in his own image. You can’t classify powerful men of God in the same level as these basic materialistic men you flock around, you just can’t. 

     Recently I read a book “how to be a powerful Christian woman” by Joyce Mayer (don’t judge me), and she talked about how her husband helped her find and establish herself, how he’s heaven sent and unlike most. That’s a relationship built on a Godly foundation. I read another book by Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa a. Rice titled “for young women only” (again, don’t judge me) this book was basically written as a hack to help girls know the deepest secrets of boys, and how ‘they’ think.  A part of the book read “although guys look confident, they are often insecure in themselves, worry that they will be found out, and are therefore drawn to girls who help them feel like they measure up”. HA! How false, it’s not human nature to feel insecure, one only feels insecure only when they have a reason to feel that way.   

   Let me share a message I read from Kaliburius S. Bigelow. He said, Ladies be careful of the men you let into your heart and enter your body, sex is not only a physical exchange, It Is also a spiritual exchange. Sex is powerful and a direct pathway into your temple. Some of you can’t get over that low life of a man because the demons he carries within him still torment you spiritually. You know in your gut that even though he looks attractive something about him ain right. Yet, something keeps luring you to him. Your mind and body wrestles back and forth with spiritual principalities and “sexual soul ties”. You see, sexual soul ties bind you to that man, men his type and dark spirits that follow him. Some women often wonder why the same type of men always pursue them, why they attract the same type of guy after they got rid of the scum bag that plagued their life, it’s that familiar spirit he left with you!! BE CAREFUL who you open yourself up to receive. If he ain prayed up, don’t be laid up.

     It’s really easy to comprehend you see, if you think all guys are the same it’s probably because your spirit has been attracting the same kind of men. The good thing however is that you can change that if you put God first and pause on men. And also, when choosing a partner choose one who is good for you, not good for your parents, not good for your image, not good for your bank account, but choose someone that is going to make your life emotionally fulfilling and spiritually sound. Make sure you get somebody who can rekindle your fire if ever it goes out.

    Roxanne told me that so many good women have dealt with the wrong men and so many good men have dealt with the wrong women that by the time they both finally meet, they’re afraid of each other.  Sadly that’s so true, but it all comes down to you, if they look great but don’t love Jesus why should you be interested in a relationship? You should pray for them and lead them to Jesus not ignore their spiritual life and try to date them to Jesus. (Godly dating 101). I respect those who know how difficult being single can be, yet don’t rush the process, it’s not that you can’t find someone, you just need to understand that your singleness has a purpose, so love yourself but not in the self absorbed conceited way and seek God’s will. It’s easy to jump at every opportunity we get, but we have to remember what God has planned is better than what we could ever think of. God hasn’t forgotten you and if you doubt that, remember what Jesus told peter in john 13-7? “You do not realize now what I am doing but later you will understand”. So do you trust God?

I feel like now is a good time to say this, I was going to do a whole different post on this but now feels like a perfect time, I desperately want everybody to understand that there is a difference between Testing God and Trying God. What most of us do is test God, let me differentiate; testing God is what the devil tried to make Jesus do when he took him up to the mountain and told him to jump in matt4:6, trying God was what Jesus did when he told his disciples the multitude did not need to return home for food, and he blessed the five loaves of bread and two fishes and fed five thousand men aside women and children. Testing God is when you have an exam and you say God is control so you don’t read (you will woefully fail), trying God is when you read as much as you physically can and hand over the rest to God. You see how the bible tags the holy spirit as our helper, notice it didn’t call him the initiator, so what you don’t initiate he can’t help, he can’t even get involved if you don’t start! A synonym for “test” is challenge, why on earth would you want to challenge God? Most of us don’t get the healing or breakthrough we’ve been praying for because of the way we present it to God, you can’t say stuff like let me see if God can do this or use him as one of your alternatives, you go to herbalist, you go to native doctors hell you even visit babalawo (for my Nigerian people), then you now go to church to test God also. It can’t work that way, while TRYING God you make use of the fundamental traits of a Christian, “Faith&Belief”, while TESTING God however we imply Doubt&Arrogance. 

    Let me round off this article with a message Brook sent to me from CA. I found this rather funny than informative but you be the judge “To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of biblical advise” Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. So while waiting for your Boaz don’t settle for any of his relatives, Broke-az, cheap-az, lockedup-az, goodfornothing-az, lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait for your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz!! 

      The message I’m trying to pass here is, whoever you are and from wherever you might be, your sin is not too great, you’re not the first person to do wrong, even in the bible Jacob cheated, peter had an affair, Noah got drunk, Jonah ran from God, Moses committed murder, Gideon was insecure, Miriam gossiped, Martha worried, Thomas doubted, sarah was impatient, Elijah was moody, zacchaeus was short, Abraham was old, lazarus was dead so you see, God doesn’t call the perfect he perfects the called!. I hope I have been able to share a little of my insight to you.

African pop culture (the African child)

The itty-bitty of the average African child, the struggle is surreal but the will is outlasting.

  This is a recital because it tells you what we are, it is a recital because it expanciates but concentrates on its core and values. The African pride, the African heritage, the African culture, the African wildlife and the African child. 

   I have so much to say about the average African child but so little to preach about the African government, the African child outplays every other because through every difficulty HE Stands tall and search a way to fix a smile on his face, unaffected by the underdevelopment and discomfort faced by Africa, they rise every sunset and work their way through till sundown with nothing but hope for the coming day. I admire the will of the African child, desperately looking for a means to survive, I can’t help but admire the will of the African child, Breaking barriers, overstepping obstacles, confronting dangers, withstanding pain, conquering hardship, facing fears, eliminating doubt and outlasting defeat, I can’t help but admire the will of the African child. 

 

 In some parts of the continent the average African child becomes a man at the age of 13! they hunt, they farm, they fish, then they feed. I have so much faith in the African child, the future of Africa finds comfort in their hands, before the rain comes the storm and this storm is just about rapping up in Africa.

  I can’t overemphasize the fact that there is no difference between us all really, we’re just two sides of the same coin, let’s not allow skin color distinguish us, let’s not allow religion divide us, let’s not allow borders separate us, let’s not allow political views split us and most importantly, we must never allow our material possessions define us. So instead of talking about making a particular place great again and hating Muslims meanwhile also creating harvoc among citizens and non citizens, why not make the whole earth great again. 

   There is no limitation to what we can achieve if we put aside our differences and work together as a unit towards a common goal.

   I have gotten remarkable feedbacks from awesome bloggers around the world, a very notable one is “let it be beautiful” please endeavor to check out the blog, she also came up with an amazing powerpoint-poem for Africa, amazing!

     There is still space for more people to join in the the hype and contribute in any little way possible, Africa is home to all. thank you for reading this episode of African pop culture(APC), stay tuned as many more ep’s are on the way. Xo 

AFRICAN POP CULTURE (APC)

This is a must read. Pay close attention, you might find here what you’ve been looking for in Africa (photos might be subject to copyright)

     African pop culture is an exclamation of the various ethnic groups in Africa, the diversity in every country, state, religion, tribe, community and language. I am bringing Africa to the screen of your computers, showing you all there is to know, (or at least ‘almost’ all there is to know). We will swerve through every country in Africa and elaborate on every tribe and its culture. This is going to be a free tourist train ride, and all you have to do is scroll. 
    You notice how artifacts and souvenirs from Africa speak Africa? I mean you literally don’t have to ask where it’s from! Huh. You might have heard countless negative stories about Africa, but I’m about to change your mind, I’m about to show you what the media won’t, I’m about to link you with young entrepreneurs from all over Africa with talents, skills and grave potentials and ability to turn CRAFT into ART.

   Couldn’t be more sure that everyone copped a version of the African attire “DASHIKI” that swept through North America, South America and some parts of Europe. here are some pictures to refresh your memory 

    The dashiki is originally from Ghana but it was made popular by the western parts of the world. The name dashiki is derived from the Hausa word “Dan ciki”, which means shirt. It comes in different variants, from simple draped clothing to fully tailored suits we got em all, as seen above. However, the Dashiki is one of many other African made designs that crossed the borders of Africa, we also had Unique necklaces cut out from prehistoric beads, woofs and horns of animals and just a bunch of other weird stuffs that seem really attractive. 

    When I speak about African culture, I want you to bear in mind that Africa is one of the most diversified continents in the world, if not the most (haven’t conducted that research yet) so culture varies in Africa as the languages do, and there are well over 1,000 indigenous languages spoken round Africa, that should give you an estimate idea how broad this will get. 
    During my research on Africa I came across a very upsetting article that read “most African countries are also known to be exceedingly poor and underdeveloped, where a significant number of people, particularly children, suffer from malnutrition. The incidence of malaria and HIV cases is also extremely high in Africa”. Well, I beg to differ. You see, that’s what the media will tell you, but what they won’t tell you however is that Africa is actually one of the wealthiest continents in the world, in terms of natural resources. Many countries in Africa contain rich reserves of valuable minerals like Colton, diamonds, gold and bauxite, as well as other valuable commodities like oil, gas and timber. I do agree however that this wealth has not historically translated into better living conditions for the average African person and there are numerous reasons for this, including colonization, corruption, armed conflict or rebellion as well as policies of international financial institutions like world bank and the IMF, but huge emphasis on CORRUPTION. So if you tag Africa as a poor continent you might be sadly mistaken because chances are it is wealthier than yours. But just like I stated earlier, this wealth hasn’t translated into riches for Africa just yet, as a result of corruption among its own leaders. The average African leader will export the natural resources of his country to foreign states and use the revenue to feed his family. Tell me then, how development will come? 

       Luckily that’s not what this article is about. I’m about to expose you to the rich cultural endowments of Africa and link you to the artisans/entrepreneurs who make it happen. I’m about to start a chain of connection that will transcend borders, create relationships and business partnerships, promote cultures and expose young entrepreneurs from round the world. I’m about to make Earth our COUNTRY and each country a STATE (maybe that way we will see how alike we really are).  

    African pop culture is about everybody, with a sense of taste, ostentation and charisma. It’s about everything, the jewelries, the bags, the shoes, the clothes and the hats. And it’s going everywhere. It is also going to be centered on youth empowerment, entrepreneurship, handy works, arts and craft, production, exportation and friendship.

    I’m taking this medium to call, beckon and summon anyone and everyone in and out of Africa with something rich and outstanding about your country and its cultural heritage, I’d love to work with amazing bloggers on this, let’s promote culture, lets link entrepreneurs and patronize them as well. This should be fun! Working and conversing with you all. So who’s in?

Merry Christmas 

Merry Christmas from my Bitmoji and I to my amazing wordpress family 😅😂❤❤

Merry Christmas my beloved WordPress family, this might come as a shocker but over my short period here I’ve really come to know a lot of awesome people, the love here is surreal. It’s kind of funny you see, how somebody you’ve never met and might never meet can give you so much encouragement and support, that’s what happens here for me, you all make me not to hold back and I appreciate that so much. I wish I could give everyone here a hug but I can’t so I’m sending you love, peace and goodwill, I love you guys so much. Also, on the 31st of this month my blog will be two months old (yaayy) and it feels as though I’ve been here for decades, y’all so darn nice! I appreciate the likes you give me and the positive comments you send, thank you all for being here, we officially family now! Whether you like it or not 😂😁😂. Merry Christmas again and have a very prosperous New year. PS thank you for 600follows❤❤❤

The interview! With Samuel Bruni 

This is an inspirational article from my interview with Samuel Bruni!

Hello everybody, Recently I started this thing where I interview and feature groups, individuals and entrepreneurs with motivational stories and intriguing ideas on my blog, I try to share their background and history with hopes that you might pick up a thing or two from their experiences. This time I focused on Samuel Bruni. Sam is a clear definition of a fighter, he is a cancer survivor, and at some point in his life he was faced with a severe back injury that warranted his disc removal and his spine re-fused all in the same year, to crown it all, he lost his memory. Rather too much agony for one man huh? Here’s a little insight on how he tackled his situation and resurfaced the successful entrepreneur and urbane leader that he is today. For easy distinction, my words/questions are written in bold and his italics .

Biography?

Sam Bruni, Husband and father of 5 kids. I had my first kid when I was 22, so I had to grow up quick and figure out how to provide for my family. I was always entrepreneurial my wholeI life, but once I had a baby coming I needed benefits and a steady pay check. I took on a daytime job working in call centers, doing sales and service jobs. I found out very quickly that I was a natural leader and was excelling quicker at my day time job than any of my startup ideas, I spent the next several years building businesses and teams for fortune 500 companies such as AT&T, Sprint, Dish Network, Direct TV, Bank of New York, Pennsylvania Power & Light etc. I became very employee-centric from those early years in my career which spanned almost 13 years. In the end, by the time I was 30, I estimate that I probably interviewed and hired almost 3,000 people.  

    The second half of my career, I became much more customer-centric moving away from operations and focusing more on marketing, and what we call the “customer experience” which is the front-end interactions customers have with an application. That change happened in 2008 when a friend of mine told me to read “the Innovators Dilemma”. He happened to be friends with Clay Christensen the author of the book. He challenged me to build a business following the principles in Clay’s book. I broke off a part of the startup I was building (Backcountry.com), and built a business within a business that we grew to almost 100 million in revenue over the course of five years. Since 2008, I’ve been a GM, CMO, CEO and have done countless startups throughout my career.    

   This was the most anticipated part of the interview for me, Remember I told you earlier that Samuel was a cancer patient? Turns out that wasn’t his only setback at the time, here’s what actually happened and how it dealt him.



   It wasn’t just the cancer I got in 2014, it was everything. I had actually broken my back and needed to get my discs removed, and my spine fused in January of 2014. At the time, I was the CEO of a very fast growing business (40% growth YOY), that the board had asked me to take to market for an acquisition. Then in August I was diagnosed with cancer. It was just a lot to deal with in one year. The surgery wasn’t bad, but the chemo afterwards was, it wrecked me, I had very little energy and I lost my memory. My memory hasn’t come back all the way, but it has improved. It really wasn’t until this year (2016) that I started to noticeably feel better physically and mentally.  

 

  After downing all that, you bet my follow up question was “how did you survive all that” and remained focused? Because personally I still find myself pushing a door that clearly says pull, and never want to show my face in public again because of the embarrassment. So what was your turning point, I mean where did you find the right attitude to tackle your severe situation?



    I have a strong support system at home, and I’m by nature a very optimistic and upbeat person. It was never an option to let my five kids see that I had any doubts. I maintained a positive attitude the whole time. I had my family, and 55 employees counting on me.

   

 Just to be clear, Being an “upbeat” person means to never give up or stay down no matter what the world throws at you, it means to keep on striving and going hard, a popular quote is “fall down seven times and get up eight”. Another aspect that should not be eluded or taking for granted is your family, you might not have five kids like Mr. Sam or 55 employees, but you have family, it could be your close friends or anybody that motivates you to keep going and never back down, it could be your gardener or janitor, that’s how God works you see, in mysterious ways. Most importantly, you must have the right attitude, I guarantee you, you could have all the motivation in the world but ultimately how positive your attitude is’ is what determines everything, you might be face to face with hell right now but I guarantee you it’s just a phase, it’ll pass, just stay positive and you will triumph.


   what captivated me about Mr. Sam was his motivational spirit, he is one of those people that can pep talk a d-league basketball team to win an NBA championship, so, I asked for a brief motivational talk for people like us, having difficulties right now, trying to find our way in the world, putting in effort to make a change but going unnoticed, falling face flat every time you give it your all but it don’t work out and you consider giving up, maybe you should take a pause and listen to this first!



     I’ve had obstacles in my life since the day I was born, literally. I was born almost two months premature, my Dad had severe cancer when I was a teenager, my Mom struggled with depression off and on most time of my life, I was diagnosed with ADHD in the 80’s (before it was popular), and Dyslexia later in my life. Like many, the many people who might read this, I can go on and on about the obstacles. The most important thing to remember is, somebody else has it worse off than you. So every time you make excuses about your circumstances or your lack of success and want to give yourself a pity party, you are just wasting your own time. Stay mentally strong, surround yourself with a strong support network (this might mean eliminating friends and family), and put the time in. If you think you can blame others for your lack of success, then you need to start there, and realize you can only blame yourself.  
  

   Everybody probably thinking “easier said than done” I know, I think that too. I hear a lot of people talk about how you should quit complaining and start working, how you should go out and get working like there’s a job outside waiting for you to grab it, How you should start small and utilize the little you have meanwhile you know you don’t even have as little as a mustard seed. And the most popular quote all over the internet is “if you fail, try, try, try again” but I always think to myself, “I’m not a robot”, I’m human, I get tired and downcast whenever I fail, I end up just wanting to give up anytime I fail to succeed at something, How do you go about that??

 
    I don’t actually believe most people are failing. I think most people have set backs or probably things didn’t go the way they had planned. Failure to me is when you lose everything and you are literally without e.g. money, job, home etc. And perhaps never recover, that to me is a failure.  By that definition, I have not failed in my life. I think people are too hard on themselves, and should stop using the word “failure” sadly it has become a popular cool thing to say online. You have to be willing to make mistakes, risk losing time and money to get something to work. However, all the things that didn’t work don’t make you a failure, it is just part of the refining process. Here’s some of what I’ve learned mentoring and consulting people. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but I hope it resonates.
I find a lot of people start off conversations with this idea that they want to do something great for life and humanity, but by the end of the call, I know they really just want to make money. If you are one of these people, you need to come to terms with it. You’re lying to yourself, and wasting time trying to be and do something that isn’t real. If you want to do something for humanity, there are lots of ways to do that without bringing it into your day to day work life and goals. Just say you want to make money, you can be charitable in other ways.

 You have to teach yourself. Technology is moving so quickly, you don’t learn it in school, you have to teach yourself to stay relevant. I did not wake up an expert in e-commerce or digital marketing. I teach myself constantly. Example, anyone who has done Facebook advertising since the beginning, has had to go through some crazy times as they tried to figure out their ad platform. They changed it several times, and each time we had to re-teach ourselves how to use it. What was one day was not the next. So people ask me how I learned to do marketing, and it was through hard work and constantly learning. 

 I believe almost everyone who wants to be an entrepreneur in this day and age, needs to learn how to do marketing. You can start by marketing yourself.

Don’t over invest in ideas. Get your ideas out their quickly, push them out to friends and family, go to a mall and talk to people or whatever you need to do, and get the necessary feedback to iterate on your ideas.  

 Don’t guard your ideas. This was something I learned early on, you think you have this amazing idea that you need to guard, and so you don’t share it. Ultimately it goes nowhere and you watch somebody else do it. 

Surround yourself with people who like your idea and build it together. It is hard to do it alone and move quickly or have the money to succeed.  

If you’re doing something in tech, don’t over invest. I use wordpress for almost all my proofs of concept nowadays. There is not much you can’t do on that platform for testing, and for the most part you can teach yourself how to do it if you are not super tech savvy.

Find a mentor. I think this is crucial. I’ve had the luck of getting to work with some great people in my career, many of which I learned from by watching them, not by asking them lots of questions. You can find mentors all over, some of which will communicate back to you.  

There is so much BS online about how to build a business, market a business, launch a website etc. These guys make their money by selling you their products. Don’t buy them.  There are no shortcuts to success, you have to put the time in to learn. If you’re not willing to do that, then you will fail no matter whose program you take. Buy a book, read a blog, but don’t pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to people that will bring you no real value.

Now I will contradict the above. Sometimes people succeed when they invest in overpriced programs because they put money on the line. Their wife is watching, family, brother, sister etc. to see what they do with that program and so they bust their ass not to fail. If this is what you need to succeed, then by all means do it. Publicize your purchase, and put your ass on the line. I would say though, you’re better off taking that money and marketing your concept or paying for real help you need.


    You’ve heard it all, preferably you’ve seen it all, it is very necessary that we don’t look down on ourselves or believe that our situation is unique or worse off than others, always remember “there are people who have it worse than you do” and they are still achieving, I love to make reference to Nick Vujicic the author of “Life Without Limits” who was born with no limbs, yes! Absolutely no limbs but he’s now living an exemplified life, spreading positivity round the world. I think it’s high time we start to see our disadvantages as our advantage, see it as the necessary lesson or course you have to take to prepare you mentally and physically for the mission God has set ahead of you. Most of us if faced with setbacks of this sort will probably spend the whole day on bed, accept defeat and say I just can’t do it, maybe it’s not for me, I’ll try tomorrow, get rid of procrastination, never accept defeat and as Sam said and “have an unbeat attitude”. 

   Thank you so much for reading this episode of the interview! feel free to drop your comments, suggestions, ideas and or inquiries, and don’t forget to subscribe to get frequent updates and email notifications on new posts and promotional offers. Thank you again, Now go excel!:D

THE WOMAN OF PROVERBS (the poem)   

Nancy Rathburn made it clear that “A strong woman understands that the gifts such as logic, decisiveness, and strength are just as feminine as intuition and emotional connection. She values and uses all of her gifts, using the book of proverbs, from 1-31, I wrote this poem to overemphasize the traits of a strong and powerful woman. Enjoy 🙂

      The woman of proverbs is an exclamation of a strong woman poised by the wisdom, strength and grace of God.

The woman of Proverbs is one whose law should never be forsaken,

Likened not unto the whorish woman that bringeth a man to a common piece of bread, 

Neither is she the adulteress who hunts for a precious life,

But a virtuous Woman who is a crown to her husband and far from the rottenness in his bones, 

Contrary to a foolish woman who is clamorous and is simple and knoweth nothing,

She is gracious and retaineth honor, 

Wisdom hath she built her house with,

Because it is written “a wise woman buildeth her house, but the other plucketh it down with her own hands”

Her worth goes miles beyond that of rubies,

Surely who so findeth the woman of Proverbs doth find a good thing.



For a man, is it not better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a mansion?

Is it not better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman?

For can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? 

The woman of Proverbs puteth away an already started fire,

She eateth not the bread of idleness, for she seeketh flax and wool and worketh willingly with her hands.

The woman of Proverbs is from the lord, 

She is like the merchant ship, 

Well blend she bringeth her food from afar,

With infinite bliss she riseth while it is yet dark and prepareth meat for her household living not her maidens,

Surely whoso findeth the woman of Proverbs findeth a good thing. 

She openeth her mouth with wisdom and in her tongue dwells the law of kindness, 

Bounds does her hands know not as she stretcheth it out to the poor and reaches forth to the needy,

Sickness befalls not her household because she clothed them with scarlet in anticipation for the season of winter. 

Surely who so findeth the woman of Proverbs findeth a good thing.



The mouth of a strange woman is as a deep pit, 

But the woman of Proverbs openeth her mouth with wisdom,

Many daughters have done virtuously,

But the woman of proverbs excellest them all,

Strength and honor are her clothing,

She shall rejoice in time to come,

Just as thy father and mother shall be glad and rejoice that they bare thee,  

Her children arise and call her blessed, 

Her husband riseth and renders praise unto her,

Whyfore he not? 

When it is written,

 That favour is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman that feareth the lord shall be praised (prov 31:30)

Verily I say unto you,

Whoso findeth “you” The Woman of Proverbs, Findeth a Good Thing and Obtaineth Unphantomed Favour from God. 

PERFECTLY IMPERFECT  

Nick Vujicic is one of the best inspirations, and the book “life without limits” stand as the basic upon which this was coined.

    The bible tells us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”, if this is so, why do we find it so hard to love ourselves just as we are? why is it so easy for us to get burdened with feelings that we are not beautiful enough, not tall enough, not thin enough or short enough for the girls who tell me they wished they were not so tall. Notice how these things afore mentioned are things that cannot be altered no matter how much we worry.

    We become vulnerable and fall into the victim’s mentality when we base how we feel about ourselves on other people’s opinions or compare ourselves with others. When you judge yourself harshly or put intense pressure on yourself, you become prone to depression. Loving and accepting yourself as God loves you opens the door to a much greater sense of peace and fulfillment. It’s like feeling as though there were a higher power above supporting your every decision and move.

     I realized that when I talk about self-love and self-acceptance, a lot of people tend to misunderstand what I mean, like this my friend here telling me she loves herself so much “in fact I want to date me”, well that’s not exactly what I mean, you see I’m not advocating for loving yourself in a self-absorbed, conceited way. The form of self-love I’m advocating is self-less, You give more than you take, you offer without being asked, you share even when you have little, you put yourself down to lift others up, you find happiness by making others smile, you love yourself because you are not all about yourself and you are happy with who you are because you make others happy to be around you. It’s really easy you see, I get excited when I talk to my friends about how excited and grateful I am to have them influence my life and have me influence theirs.

      I had the full attention of a very good friend when I chose to work on this topic and she asked “what if you can’t just love yourself because no one loves you?” well, that’s not possible, you see, you and I are Gods children, and each one of us can count on his unconditional love, his mercy and his forgiveness, we are all of value in his eyes, so we should love ourselves, be understanding of our imperfections, and forgiving of our mistakes because God does all that for us. What was the most important commandment Jesus stated in the bible? We should love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and right after was to love our neighbor as ourselves. So loving yourself is not about being selfish, self-satisfied or self-centered, it’s about accepting your life as a gift to be nurtured and shared as a blessing to others. So instead of dwelling on your imperfections, your failings or your mistakes focus on your blessings, they are so much I tell you, forget about the Iphone device you can’t afford and think about the good health you have that even Steve Jobs the co-founder of Apple couldn’t buy, think about the free oxygen you breathe daily and the constant blood that flows through your vain, do you have any idea how expensive those can get?, you have the ability to hear and see, that’s a blessing, And if ever you doubt, ask yourself if you would give away your good health for wealth or your limbs for that dream car or your ability to see for a private jet.

    The true blessing which sadly we overlook is a perfectly good health, every other is secondary. So think of the contribution you can make whether it’s a talent, knowledge, wisdom, creativity, hard-work or a nurturing soul. You don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations except yours, you’re allowed to define your own version of perfection.

    I have a particular friend who is so comfortable with herself, so at peace and enthused about developing her gifts that she just seems to radiate good feelings, I value being around her, everyone loves being around her, why? Because she shines from within, she loves herself but not in the “you’re so vain” way, she accepts herself as blessed even when outcomes don’t go her way, even though she struggles just like you and I. I’m sure you know somebody who gives off that same comfortable vibe, just as you probably know the opposite sort of person whose bitterness and self-loathing drive everyone away.

      You got to learn to glow, if you don’t shine from within, it may be because you rely on others to validate you, to give you confidence, or make you feel appreciated, even though you might be blessed with a few people who can do that, that’s a sure road that leads to disappointment. The only important measure of your beauty and value as a person should be the one that comes from within. You’re probably thinking “easy to say, tough to do”, but I’m just trying to help you see how cruel life could be, people can be thoughtless or just plain mean, so you must be able to look inside for strength and when that strength fails you can always look above to God, the ultimate source of strength and love.

    Self-acceptance and self-love are important but often misunderstood concepts these days. As put by Nick Vujicic, you should love yourself as a reflection of God’s love and as someone put on this earth to make a unique contribution. Too many of our generation youth settle for a more superficial meaning when they buy into the extremes of narcissism and self-indulgence. This is due, in no little part, to the cult of beauty and celebrity promoted on reality shows, movies, podcasts and videos. When you watch those shows it’s easy to forget that life has greater purpose than looking good, living in luxury and “hooking-up”. No wonder more celebrities are in rehab than in church. Too many of them worship the false gods of vanity, pride and lust. I am going to sensor my words now but I know you know exactly what I’m talking about.

     I’m particularly not one to get psyched over a celebrity of any sort, don’t you think this would be a better world if the paparazzi followed college graduates with advanced degrees or missionaries bringing medicine and hope to the poor and needy instead of stalking and paying a lot of money to go watch rehab dropouts with rap-sheets and needle scars? But all hope is not lost, I’ve seen huge number of people, young and old converting, just like I did, attending religious ceremonies and festivals of praise, seeking contentment by learning to love their neighbor and be selfless. I’ve watched teens and adults who spend their vacations building homes in third world countries and serving the needy in impoverished areas of Africa. You see not everyone is obsessed with plastic surgery, make-up-on-fleek, parties or Louis vuitton bags. When you get caught up in material things and surface beauty trying to get other people to value you, you give up too much of yourself and risk letting your blessings go to waste.

   Whenever I lose sight of who I am and let current situations weigh me down and make me question my life, I always fall back to the mirror, and I employ you to do same , when your spirit is tumbling because you’ve been hurt, stepped-on or disparaged, go to the mirror and find one feature you love about yourself, it doesn’t have to be a physical characteristic, it can be a talent, a trait, a skill or something else that makes you feel good about yourself, dwell on that special something for a while. Be grateful for it, and know that your beauty and value comes from the unique person you were made to be.

    I have a very playful 9month old dog, she takes meat illegally so I beat her sometimes which makes her scared of me, but whenever I’m seated in my room feeling downright moody or sober she comes around and tries to start up a fight or a rag-drag competition so timidly I can’t help but give her a rob on the back, so then I ask, how can a dog still love me regardless of how I beat her? She’s selfless you see. So if only you will love yourself as you are, for all your beauty inside and out, others will be drawn to you and they will see your beauty too. Oh and in case you’re wondering , I still beat her, she still steals but we still play so the circle just continues.​

     One day in my junior class of secondary school, I went to the restroom after having a “can’t solve the equation” moment with my teacher, like that wasn’t embarrassing enough, the pipe just beneath the faucet broke because I had my entire weight on it and water sprinkled on uhmm my private area, so it looked like I peed my pant. I tried to wipe it dry but it just kept spreading, immediately I came out the restroom it was as though these set of girls were waiting for me at the corridor, I couldn’t tell if they were talking about my wet pant but I was sure they were laughing at it, I was so embarrassed, I couldn’t wipe it off and couldn’t cover it either so I decided to make jokes off it myself before anyone could, I didn’t let anyone see it before I said something ridiculous about it, I became so paranoid that I walk up to random people and start explaining how it happened without them asking, when they noticed I was laughing at myself more than they were, they gradually retreated and got tired.

     Sometimes through our own doing we make little problems big by taking them too seriously. Having wet pants is not a big deal. We are all perfectly imperfect human beings, some of us may be more than others, but we all have our flaws and our short comings. It’s important not to take every little wart or wrinkle too seriously because one day you might be faced with something truly serious gone wrong, and then what will you do? So stand prepared to laugh at life’s little knocks on the head, bumps on the nose and well, water on your pants.

    I’ve been known to laugh excessively, even in serious situations, I don’t know, sometimes I think it’s a curse, but after I discovered that laughter has been shown to reduce stress by releasing endorphin hormones, the body’s natural relaxant, also boosting your immune system and improving your blood flow while also increasing oxygen flow to the brain. Not bad, eh? Studies have also shown that laughter makes you more attractive. A double bonus! Problem is, I over do mine, I always overdo it, and according to my own research it can kill, I always fall short of breath, my ribcage begin to hurt bad as well as my head then for a brief moment, I lose my full ability to stand, true story!

    I’ve learned to laugh about my problems and the strange responses they provoke, but there is an even better method for overcoming doubts about your self-worth or your inability to love yourself as you are. Instead of dwelling on that pain within, reach out to someone else’s pain. I promise you there are people who have it worse than you think you do, go on the streets and see people living like they ready to die, with raggedy clothes on and no shoes and have no idea where they are going to get their next meal from aside that dumpster around the corner. So I’m pleading with you, stop thinking you have it bad, go give something to the homeless man on the street or go to an orphanage, reach out to ease someone else’s pain, put your focus on someone else in need and I promise, you will feel some sort of self-satisfaction. 

   You have to keep striving, keep growing, keep giving all you have to give, so that in the end you can look back and say, “I gave it my best shot”. Look in the mirror and say “this is who I am, and I accept the challenge of becoming the best I can be. You are beautiful because God created you for his purpose in his image. Your challenge however is to find that purpose, fill it with hope and drive it on faith and put your uniqueness to the highest possible use.

     I had a temporal move to my grandma’s home in south central Benin city and I met this great guy named Mr. Abaka, he wasn’t the richest or most accomplished man in the block, matter-fact he was just a Grass-cutter, but Mr. Abaka is one of those people who glowed from within, He was at peace with himself, so comfortable in his coveralls that everyone respected him and enjoyed being around him, when he starts talking to you about his ideas and forthcomings you’ll be super thrilled, he could always keep a good and positive conversation going. I have a lot of well to do friends from around the world but only few possess this unique ability. 

   We are so quick to share our imperfections, we need to share the beautiful gifts we’ve been given, look inside, there is a light inside you just waiting to shine. Loving and accepting yourself is the only surefire cure for self pity and victimhood. Drugs, alcohol, and promiscuity offer temporary relief and eventually they end up bringing more pain, depression and problems. You see when I came to really accept myself as a child of God and a part of his plan, my life was forever changed. You may not be a believer in Christ but you can darn right believe in your value and purpose on this planet.

   “I thought life was unfair until somebody told me life is fair because it is unfair to everybody”                                                                                by unknown…

BUILDING THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP WITH THE RIGHT ATTITUDE!! 

                                                                      

        I was surfing the net one time and I came across this seminar on ‘relationships’ that was practically attended by mainly successful business men and women who had devoted their life completely to their careers and companies, and in their drive for success they had totally neglected their relationships one after the other, now they’ve reached the top, they’ve made a lot of money and even fame but they have no one to share it with. Thing is, most of them thought they had it all, until they realized it meant nothing without someone to enjoy it with.

     But the truth of the matter is, if you approach relationships with an attitude of “I don’t have time for anybody else” one day you’ll probably look up and find that you’re all alone and wondering where all of your friends went. Personally, I found that the most powerful tool for building a lasting and mutually beneficial relationship is a “service attitude”, I mean a relationship where your main drive is to impact and add value to the other person’s life, your ultimate goal should be to add to the quality of the lives of those people who have trusted you with their friendship.

    I found that when I meet somebody anew since I learnt to abide these principles I’ve had better relationships, strong and lasting bonds through the quality of conversations we have, I always seek and pick out three basics from new conversations that help me decide whether or not to retain or restrain from that relationship:

1. How positive minded they speak- do they see good and positive in even negative situations, do they see a bright and shiny day filled with joy every morning or they see another hectic Monday packed with excess work and stressful activities.

2. Humor- humor is everything to me, if somebody can contribute a laugh to my life every day, that’s seven times a week, multiplied by the amount of friends I have, then again multiplied by two if they keep it going and maybe three if they are on a role, you might end up having over 10,000 laughs a year, that’s more than enough to keep you happy for the whole year.

3. Ideas- having ideas doesn’t necessarily mean you have the potential to carry them out “just yet”, but when you talk about them it just goes to show that you have a very beautiful and productive mind with interest in developing the world or increasing the standards of living, dreamers are most respected here, you do know that dreamers are thinkers and thinkers end up becoming great innovators, so I always appreciate a good conversation with a dreamer with strong zeal towards realizing goals.

     We undermine the meaning of “friendship” nowadays, people believe that so long as they engage in daily conversations, or attend same classes or probably they are friends of friends or are on the same football or basketball team automatically makes them friends, I think the term for that is “acquaintances” that’s all that is, not friends because being friends goes beyond just engaging in regular conversations you know, when you’re truly friends with someone it means you aren’t afraid to stand up for them when others are putting them down or when they’ve fallen out of favor with the rest of the world. It means that you focus on the best that is in them and try to help them express it even when they aren’t focusing on the best in themselves. If you’re able to approach your relationships with this orientation/attitude you’ll always find shelter in the friendship and trust of others. But if you haven’t put substantial effort into developing strong relationships then you should not be surprised to find yourself dealing with loneliness, rejection and or even isolation. 
   I was conversing with a very good friend of mine on this topic and she said “well Dez I don’t put this much effort you talk about but I still got a lot of friends” true, but are they real/true friends? The key word here is “true”, will they go the extra mile for you? And if yes well you should ask yourself why, but let me tell you why, it’s simply because there is something in you that they want or are benefiting from, and soon as it’s gone they’ll abandon you like an old sack of potato. 

      Try to play this quick image in your head, say for example you got a lot of money or your parents are pretty rich, bring those people you feel are your true friends, now take out your money and parents wealth, do you still see them flocking around you? Or they done took themselves out?

   Let’s take one final bazaar example, say you’re a very pretty young lady with all the right curves, and you were involved in a ghastly motor crash and got badly injured, burnt across the face and maybe permanently inclined to the use of crutches, will these guys still flock around you? Maybe even your girls won’t be caught dead around you because you’ve lost what they were really after, I bet my A-List will still be there for me. So if after all these, your head still reflects somebody that will still be there for you then be happy because that’s your true friend. I rebuke any form of motor crash in your life.
                  BUILD YOUR A-LIST

Keith Harrell said, the people you allow embrace your life ultimately have the greatest impact on your attitude.
        Your A-list should comprise of people you can count on regardless the situation, people that will be with you through thick and thin, support you and give you the necessary motivation and words you require to get up and move on, non critics or seasonal friends. You know some people are seasonal friends, they only show up when it’s convenient for them, like they talk to you every day when you’re in school but soon as you go home its over “no airtime” to call you, so you see I can’t overemphasize the importance of building a strong reliable A-list. It’s critical and important especially during those times when you’re looking for guidance and a shoulder to lean on. You know, when you engage in a conversation with another person you give them the ability to impact you, to slip stuff into you, that’s why when you make friends with someone you best make sure it’s what you want, you best make sure you know who you’re spending time with because you may not always realize what you’re getting out of the relationship until it has already been deposited and start growing in you, it’s sort of like crabgrass, you don’t know it’s there until it’s all grown up you see. 

          I can count on my A-list to help me keep my attitude positive. They also help me see with a wider range of vision, at every major turning point of my life, there has been someone there to help me find the learning point of my life. I hope it has been same for you, and even though you might not have giving much thought or enough credit to your support team it will be relevant for you to take a time out and review your life till this point and think of those people who have made a difference in it. Go a step further today and create a list of those on your A-list to remind yourself of all the people who have supported you and helped you when your circumstances or attitude took a turn for the worse. Then, the next time you’re tempted to think you’re alone, rid yourself of that negative thought by visualizing all the people who support, motivate and believe in you or just pick up your telephone and call them.

   So if ever you find yourself with a lackadaisical attitude, bogged down, unmotivated and looking to get off your “if only’s”,” what if’s” and “what now’s”, I recommend again you put into consideration the effort others have invested in your life and try this self affirmation that was also stated in my previous post on “THE IDEAL FAITH” I can’t let down the people who believe in me and worked for me, it’s time I started believing in me and helping myself. 

    So whenever I’m alone and on the road or whenever I’m feeling a little lonely or down, lacking motivation to go on or push through I immediately get in touch with one or two, or depending on the depth of my mood, three or four people on my A-list. I call them or start up a chat. I try to catch up on their lives and see how they are doing, I find that’s all I need, just to remind myself that I’m not alone. Of course they call me too, I want them to do that, every time if possible, because I want to contribute to their happiness and security too.

    Relationships are built on a two-way-street you see, they have to be mutually beneficial, each side has to bring something of value to the table, otherwise they will not endure. Friendship is more or has got to be more than having a good time when you’re together chilling as it’s called. It’s about time you started weighing the substance of your friendships, examine the things you’re getting in exchange for your time.

It’s time to cut off all unproductive relationships and concentrate on the ones that improve your very being. May God give us wisdom to make the right dedecisions. 

THE IDEAL FAITH!

IDEAL FAITH

 
       Faith is the head chemist of the mind. When faith is blended with the vibration of thought, the subconscious mind instantly picks up the vibration and then translates it into its spiritual equivalent thus transmits it to infinite intelligence, just as it is in the case of prayer. 

    According to a book by Napoleon Hill, Faith, love and sex are the most powerful of all the major positive emotions. And when the three are blended, they have the effect of ‘colouring’ the vibrations of thought in such a way that it instantly reaches the subconscious mind, where it is changed into its spiritual equivalent, the only form that induces a response from infinite intelligence. 

     Love and faith are psychic; related to our spiritual side. Sex is purely biological and related only to the physical. The mixing or blending of these three emotions thus has the effect of opening a direct line of communication between the finite thinking mind and infinite intelligence.

          HOW TO RAISE OUR FAITH 

   FAITH is a state of mind that could very much be induced or created by affirmation or repeated instructions to the subconscious mind, through the principle of autosuggestion. The method by which one develops faith, where it does not already exist however is extremely difficult to describe. Almost as difficult, in fact, as it would be to describe the color matte black to a blind man. Faith is a state of mind that you may develop at will.

    Making repeated affirmations to your subconscious mind is the only known method of developing the emotion of faith voluntarily. Take for example, when people first come in contact with drugs or crime for a time and they liked it, it was favorable, perhaps maybe they had a successful bank robbery or a perfect getaway from murder, they ardor it, and if they remain in contact with that crime for a time, they become accustomed to it, and endure it. If they remain in contact with it long enough, they finally embrace it, and become influenced by it, you know, sort of like drugs.

     This is hence the equivalent of saying that any impulse of thought which is repeatedly passed on to the subconscious mind is finally accepted and acted upon. The subconscious mind then proceeds to translate that impulse into its physical equivalent by the most practical procedure available. In connection with this, consider again this really powerful self statement, ALL THOUGHTS WHICH HAVE BEEN EMOTIONALIZED AND MIXED WITH FAITH begin immediately to translate themselves into their physical equivalent, they begin to manifest in reality. 

     In one of the most influential bestsellers of all time I’ve read “think and grow rich” it made clear that the emotions, or the ‘feeling’ portion of thoughts, are the factors that give thoughts vitality, life action. The emotions of faith, love and sex, when mixed with any thought impulse, give it greater action than any of these emotions singly. Not only thought impulses which have been mixed with faith, but also those have been mixed with any of the positive emotions – or any of the negative emotions- may reach and influence the subconscious mind, that is to say if also we mix any thought impulse with hatred or wickedness it goes on to influence our subconscious mind and thus produces its offspring.

    From this statement you will understand that the subconscious mind will translate a thought impulse of a negative or destructive nature into its physical equivalent, just as readily as it will act upon thought impulses of a positive or constructive nature. This accounts for the strange phenomenon so many millions of people experience, and refer to as ‘misfortune’, or ‘bad luck’, meanwhile it is just the offspring of their negative mixtures.

     Millions of people believe themselves ‘doomed’ to poverty, failure or misfortune because of some strange force over which they believe they have no control, maybe their step parents or tormenting demons, a popular one is “my village witches don’t want me to succeed”. But in real term they are the creators of their own ‘misfortune’ because of this negative belief, which is picked up by the subconscious mind and translated into its physical equivalent. 

     This is an appropriate place to suggest again that you may benefit by passing on to your subconscious mind any desire that you so wish translated into its physical or monetary equivalent, in a state of expectancy or belief that the change will actually take place. Your belief of faith is the element/attribute that determines the action of your subconscious mind. There is nothing to hinder you from ‘deceiving’ your subconscious mind when giving it instructions through autosuggestion, To make this ‘deceit’ more realistic, conduct yourself in the manner you would if you were ALREADY IN POSSESSION OF THE MATERIAL THING WHICH YOU ARE DEMANDING when you call upon your subconscious mind. The mind will hence transmute into its physical equivalent, by the most direct and practical method/way available. Any order given to the mind in a state of belief or faith, that order will be carried out slowly but surely. 

   It is a known fact that the emotion of love or being loved is closely akin to the state of mind known as faith. Love comes very near to translating ones thought impulses into their spiritual equivalent. During his research, Napoleon Hill discovered, from the analysis of the work and achievements of hundreds of men of outstanding accomplishments, that there was the influence of a woman’s love behind nearly every one of them. He rounded up his research result by saying that the emotion of love, in the human heart and brain creates a favorable field of magnetic attraction that causes an influx of the higher and finer vibrations that are afloat in the ether.

    If thus it is true that one may become a criminal by association with crime (and this is known fact), it is equally true that we may develop faith by voluntarily suggesting to our subconscious mind that we have faith. The mind comes, finally, to take on the nature of the influences that dominate it. Understand this truth and you will know why it is essential for you to encourage the positive emotions as dominating forces of your mind, and discourage- and eliminate- negative emotions especially hate and disbelief.

    A mind dominated by positive emotions becomes a favorable abode or habitat for the state of mind known as faith. A mind so dominated may, at will, give the subconscious mind instructions, which it will accept and act upon immediately. 

     It is necessary we have faith in ourselves; faith in the infinite possibilities of life so before I go on I should remind you again that:

FAITH is the ‘eternal elixir’ which gives life, power and action to the impulse of thought!

FAITH is the starting point of all accumulation of riches and success. 

FAITH is the basic of all ‘miracles’ and mysteries that cannot be analyzed by the rules of science!

FAITH is the only known antidote to failure!

FAITH is the element, the ‘substance’ which, when mixed with prayer, gives us direct communication with infinite intelligence.

FAITH is the element that transforms the ordinary vibration of thought, created by the finite mind of man, into the spiritual equivalent. 

FAITH is the only formula through which the spiritual force of infinite intelligence can be harnessed and used.

FAITH of cause is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen.  

    I have come to notice that our immediate environment play a critical role in the way we think and act, we are what we are basically because of the vibrations of thoughts we pick up and register through the influence of our daily environment. That goes to say that if we control our mind influences we control our outcome, resolve or throw out the influences of any unfortunate environment and build your own life to order. Take an index of your mental Assets and Liabilities and you will realize that your greatest weakness is lack of self confidence, the good thing however is that this handicap situation can be surmounted and translated into courage and ultimately self confidence through the aid of repetition, autosuggestion and persistence. The application of these principles may be made through a simple arrangement of positive thought impulses stated in writing, memorized and repeated, until they become a part of the working equipment of our mental faculty. We all know that thoughts influence actions. Dr. Ivan Joseph defined self-confidence as the ability or belief to believe in oneself to accomplish any task no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty and no matter the adversity, the ultimate belief that you can accomplish anything.  
      Here’s a couple of self confidence boosters that I have employed for myself for the past few days, it’s a self affirmation and I Endeavour to say and repeat it daily and I enjoin you to do same: 

I know that I have the ability to achieve the object of my definite purpose in life. Therefore I demand of myself persistent, continuous action towards its attainment, and I here and now promise to take such action.

I realize the dominating thoughts of my mind will eventually reproduce themselves in outward physical action and gradually transform themselves into physical reality. Therefore I will concentrate my thoughts for 30minutes daily upon the task of thinking of the person I intend to become, thereby creating in my mind a clear mental picture of that person.

I know through the principle of autosuggestion that any desire I persistently hold in my mind will eventually seek expression through some practical means of attaining the object. Therefore I will devote 10 minutes daily to demanding of myself the development of self-confidence

I have clearly written down a description of my definite chief aim in life. I will never stop trying until I have developed sufficient self-confidence for its attainment.

I fully realize that no wealth or position can long endure unless built upon truth and justice. Therefore I will engage in no transaction that will not benefit all whom it affects. I will succeed by attracting to myself the forces I wish to use, and the cooperation of other people. I will induce others to serve me because of my willingness to serve others. I will eliminate hatred, envy, jealousy, selfishness and cynicism by developing love for all humanity because I know that a negative attitude towards others can never bring me success, I realize that bringing others down won’t lift me up, I will cause others to believe in me , because I will believe in them, and in myself. I will sign my name to this formula, commit it to my memory and repeat it aloud once a day, with full faith that it will gradually influence my thoughts and actions, so that I will become a self-reliant and successful person.

      One of my favorite quotes by Zig Ziglar says “failure is a detour, not a dead-end street”. Barbara Hoffman said “stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey”. I’d like you to take that literally, celebrate life and overcome failure because sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become triumphant. Finally I’d love to leave you with this poem I came across in a TEDx class, the process through which any person may rise to altitudes of achievements that stagger the imagination, is well described in the following verses:
If you think you are beaten, you are,

If you think you dare not, you don’t 

If you like to win but think you can’t, it is almost certain you won’t. 
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost

For out of the world we find,

Success begins with a person’s will

It’s all in the state of mind. 
If you think you are outclassed, you are, 

You’ve got to think high to rise.

You’ve got to be sure of yourself before

 You can ever win a prize
Life’s battles don’t always go

 To the stronger or faster man

But soon or late the one who wins

Is the one WHO THINKS HE CAN!!

 Try to observe discretely the words which have been emphasized and you will catch the deep meaning the poet had in mind.

    Somewhere in all of us lie sleeping a seed of achievement, if aroused and put into proper use will elevate us to heights most probably never hoped to attain. But never forget that the basic foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty. 
        I used a couple of words I would like to define properly as in the manner I used them during the course of this Article:

Autosuggestion – it is simply the influencing of your physical or mental state by thoughts and ideas which come from yourself rather than from other people, it is basically the power of mind over matter –for example, if you convince yourself that you are cured, you will be.

Subconscious- It is the part of your mind that notices and remembers information when you are not actively trying to do so, and it influences your behaviour indirectly although you do not realize it.

Impulse- it is basically a thrust or a push, like a sudden force that impels you to do something. Or a sudden strong wish to do something you didn’t plan or foresee.

Infinite- is simply without limits or end, something extremely large or great. No end in sight!

New York

Main attraction, free tourist destinations in New York

                                     NEW YORK TRAVEL INFORMATION 

Welcome to New York, Places to sight see are a dozen-to-the-dime, Don’t miss views of the Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry (www.siferry.com) and the Empire State Building (www.esbnyc.com) or get lost in the artistic reveries at the Museum of Modern Art (moma.org), for those who want to get off the well-worn track try the numerous walking tours available. Official tourist information can be found at nycgo.org,

Shopaholic

New York is famous as a shopper’s paradise, and many flock to the big department stores like Macy”s (macys.com), Barneys (660 Madison Avenue, barneys.com) and Bloomingdales (bloomingdales.com) for everything from designer duds to kitchenware. Children will never want to leave the giant toy paradise FAO SCHWARZ (fao.com) for hip boutiques, go to the lower East Side and Williamsburg. And if you’re looking for something to take back home, T-shirts and mugs emblazoned with the iconic “I love NY” logo make great souvenirs.

Bon Appétit

Order Pastrami on rye and recreate the ‘I’ll have what she’s having ” scene from when harry met sally at kat’z deli (katzdeli.com). You’ll be hard pressed to go a block without finding an amazing restaurant selling everything from bialys and bagels to Michelin-starred cuisine. Remember to tip well, waiters earn much less than the minimum wage: 15 to 20 per cent of the bill is expected.

Athletes

Are you like me? Can you not go a day without playing basket-ball? No worries, NYC is one of the states with the most number of basketball courts in America, there’s literally one in every block. Runners are not left out, everywhere is conducive to run, central park, So long as it’s a favorable forecast you’re ok.

Bed-Time

You are spoiled for choice with New York’s luxury hotels, one of the most famous of which is THE PLAZA (fairmont.com/theplaza). Rooms start at $595 a night, that’s Approximately 200,000 thousand Nigerian currency! Amazing right?  Anyway, for cheaper options you can try newyorkhotels.com. A notable one is the pod hotel (thepodhotel.com), where for as low as $89 dollars a night u can have clean rooms with iPod stations, free Wifi and lcd TV. That’s about 30 thousand naira a night, can’t complain too much for that one, it’s New York.

Hip tip

Things move fast in NYC, so find up to date information at newyock.timeout.com. And for deals on tickets visit lastminute.com. 

Free Tourist Attractions in New York

New York is definitely one of the best places in the world, it is filled with hundreds if not thousands of sites to see, however it is also one of the most expensive cities in the world trust me. Ranging from tours, hotels, shopping malls, and of cause food restaurants can get really expensive, but budget conscious travelers need not worry, there’s always something to consulate, there’s something for everybody in New York. I have a list of some free tourist attractions to help make the most of your trip to NYC without breaking your bank.

New York Public Library/ 455 Fifth Avenue at 42nd street

There are three places that make me feel at home anywhere in the world, a basketball court, a well equipped gymnasium and of cause a Library. How this is a tourist attraction you might ask? Well at the time it was built in 1911 the New York public library was the largest marble building in the whole of America. And if you’re a lover of art, it was built in the Beaux-Arts style, the library is an impressive architectural structure. So feel free to visit the New York library to enjoy the extensive and unlimited book collections, impressive architecture, and the popular stone lions outside the building. There are also free tours through the library at 11am and 2pm Monday to Saturday, and 2pm on Sundays.

 

Rockefeller Center/ Fifth Avenue between 49th and 50th street

I’m sure there’s almost nobody who did not watch the then popular movie “Home Alone” that means you remember the part where he went ice skating alone on Christmas day, well this is the place. Rockefeller Center is the site of New York City’s annual Christmas tree and a very popular spot during the holiday when you can see the tree and watch people skate (well because you actually really can’t skate) in front of it for free.

Early mornings on weekdays you can catch a taping of the today’s show for free in Rockefeller Center and you can also enjoy the famous statues of Atlas and Prometheus.

Staten Island Ferry

A trip on the Staten Island Ferry is absolutely 100% free, pretty ironic for an extravagant city. Thousands of new Yorkers ride the ferry to work daily, tourists and visitors can use it to experience amazing views of lower Manhattan, the Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and the New York harbor for free.

Times Square

Unarguably one of the most iconic images of New York City is Times Square. Approximately 30 million people visit Times Square, to enjoy the lights, famous billboards and nearby restaurants and shows.

While taking in a Broadway show, dinner can be extremely pricey, enjoying the lights and billboards however is completely free and actually very satisfying. Due to the amount of people that troop in frequently, much of Times Square is now a pedestrian plaza with no traffic. Visitors can sit and take in Times Square at one of the multiple tables installed for tourists to relax and enjoy the amazing sites. You can best enjoy your Times Square experience after sunset when the glowing lights and din are at their most impressive. You can take the following subways to Times Square. 1,2,3,7,A,C,N,R,. 

Central Park/ 830 Fifth Avenue

Central Park is practically 843 acres of nature in the middle of a concrete jungle. THIS beautiful oasis has several gardens, open spaces, lakes and pathways. The land mass that makes up central park is said to be worth over $1trillion, but it cost absolutely nothing to go in and enjoy the beautiful nature which ironically is completely man-made. If you visit NYC during the warmer months you can enjoy free performances at the park’s summer stage.

Chelsea Galleries

​The typical tourist knows that New York City is filled with some of the greatest museums in the world, but art lovers such as myself know that the place to see the most up-to-date artwork is art galleries. New York most concentrated area to go “gallery hoping” is Chelsea. You can go from gallery to gallery in the 20s street between 10th and 11th avenue and observe a variety of different art in all different mediums for free and there’s no pressure to buy anything! If you time your trip right, you can try your luck at a gallery opening and score some free wine and cheese. Gallery openings are typically on Thursday evenings.

High Line

New York’s latest park is completely unique and unlike any other park in the nation. It was created/established on an abandoned stretch of Railroad track and is in fact 30 feet in the air (hence the name high-line).

The park runs from New York’s meat parking district to Chelsea and it offers overwhelming views of the Hudson River. The High Line frequently offers public installations and events.

Grand Central Terminal/ 89 East 42nd Street at Park Avenue

​The Grand Central Terminal was built in 1913 and is a gorgeous, historic structure in Midtown Manhattan. Grand Central Terminal is a national historic landmark and a beautiful architectural structure that has been painstakingly preserved. Everyday Grand Central Terminal serve hundreds of Travelers traveling on the Metro-north Railroad to Westchester, Putnam, and Dutchess Counties in New York state, and Fairfield and New Haven Counties in Connecticut. There are also stops for the 4,5,6,7 and S subways. However, Grand Central Terminal is more than just a hub for transportation, there are shops, dinning, and more available to visitors, the Grand central terminal offers group tours as well as free tours for individuals on Wednesdays and Fridays.

St. Patrick’s Cathedral/ 460 Madison Avenue

Regardless of your religious orientation, St Patrick’s Cathedral is a site to behold. It is the largest decorated gothic-style catholic cathedral in the United States and it seats 2200 people. After over 20 years of construction, St. Patrick’s Cathedral first opened its doors in May 1879 and has been open to the public for free ever since. Feel free to go check out the beautiful structure or take in a mass.

Sony Wonder Technology Lab/ 550 Madison Avenue (212) 833-8100

The Sony Wonder Technology Lab features interactive exhibits and hands-on technology for children and adults. At Sony Wonder Technology Lab, visitors can tinker with robots, experience the latest PlayStation video games, learn how high-tech gadgets work and even perform virtual surgery. Although admission to the Lab is free, a ticket is required and there are a limited amount of tickets. Tickets are available same-day on a first-come, first-served basis. Tickets typically run out quickly so ensure to show up pretty early.

That is pretty much all I have as regards free tourists attractions New York, However there are more like the National Museum of the American Indian, Federal Hall of National Memorial and the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, but I haven’t paid a visit there ‘’yet’’, I’ll be sure to provide any other info I gather but for the main time you should note that one thing that all New Yorkers do is walk, New Yorkers walk everywhere! Another free way to enjoy the city is to walk around the different neighborhoods and get a feel of what the city has to offer.

Here are some btw facts I came to know about NYC:

  1. New York was the capital of the United States for five years, from 1785 to 1790, before it was moved to Washington D.C.
  2. NYC is the most populated city in the USA and is considered one of the Worlds cultural capitals.